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CoffinJerk

I read the news today, oh boy...

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A topic in which we bear witness to the terminal velocity of our collective reality via the myopic dystopia of contemporary news headlines.

Proceed with caution.

 

I'll start

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dude when i got to the end i was like whoa what???

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. . . and then i realized it was referencing a dude named erik prince who is actually mentioned in that paragraph lol

 

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im actually not sure if richard spencer lives there or if the energy company is based there. i'm fact checking after posting like a real news guy and i gotta say its all kind of fishy. but the intelligence agency part is true and supposedly whitefish is full of white supremacists. but maybe one of the energy guys is from there.

 

edit: puns in the reason

Edited by _S_
whitefish, FISHY, LOL

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7 minutes ago, _S_ said:

slightly old but anyway here you go

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edit: https://www.alternet.org/news-amp-politics/whitefish-montana-center-far-right

its all centered in one town, whitefish montana. thats where the company that never actually fixed up puerto rico is based, where trumps intelligence agency is based, and where richard spencer lives.

Please dude. Be fair. At least a handful of complete morons other than Richard Spencer live in Whitefish Montana.

Also, damn, if people know about this group they're already doing a bang-up job.

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heres  another good one that sounds like something william gibson would write

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i want to say suicide squad is one of the worst movies ive ever seen but i turned it off however many minutes in and never went back

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16 minutes ago, _S_ said:

i want to say suicide squad is one of the worst movies ive ever seen but i turned it off however many minutes in and never went back

It won best hair and makeup.

Do people think that they have like 30 categories for the Oscars whose trophy emblems just say "CONGRATULATIONS, YOU WON AN OSCAR" on it?

Do people not understand why they have categories for this stuff?

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best hair (will smith's pubes (deleted scene) / best makeup (jared leto's penis (deleted scene))

 

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idk why do people even care about oscars anymore in general

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31 minutes ago, splendorr said:

i shouldnta looked in here

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welcome to earf...................

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1 hour ago, _S_ said:

Suck it millennials 

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As a person with tattoos and a fan of hip hop I COMPLETELY AGREE

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tylenol.PNG.576ec2a05580c13d5ee081d897980a13.PNG

i actually have this like weird fascination with how tylenol deadens your sense of existential dread

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2 minutes ago, CoffinJerk said:

the quote to get people to click the article read, "...and it probably slaps."

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"A bottle of Jamaican white rum appears, and Shaggy sets to mixing up drinks for the crew. The engineer cues up "Don’t Make Me Wait" and the dancehall star cheerfully sings along. He gives his assessment as the tune ends: 'Doesn’t that just sound like something that hundreds of women would get pregnant to?'" (source (lol))

hmmm

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i think the REAL news story here is how a bottle of jamaican white rum suddenly wills itself into existence right there in front of them

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1 hour ago, starsailor said:

tylenol.PNG.576ec2a05580c13d5ee081d897980a13.PNG

i actually have this like weird fascination with how tylenol deadens your sense of existential dread

Wow what

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