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  2. rinv

    Do you hate where you live?

    i'm moving down the street from where i am now to a place that is literally 5 times the size of my current place. it's two stories, with two living rooms, two bedrooms, a bedroom-sized closet, and a giant kitchen. it's happening extremely suddenly - and either couldn't be a better or worse time because i'm at the lowest i've probably ever been. i think a change of pace will be good but i won't know until i do it.
  3. rinv

    substances

    you describe it incredibly vividly. i definitely think i would like to try it at some point.
  4. tombo

    substances

    this could go in both this thread and the one about reasons for being alive, but i guess it's more suitable to here. i've been quite open to any drugs in the last few years, but I haven't made any of them a habit. i would rather go crazy once in a while (and do/feel whatever) than physically feel like shit all the time, which seems to be the effect of any long term drug use. about eight months ago i did LSD for the first time. i did it with what were at the time some fairly new friends (probably ideal to do it with someone you know well), and under the guidance of someone who had done it a whole bunch of times (which made a positive impact i think). it was a great experience. but more than the actual trip (which was pleasant), that day has gained more relevance as time has past as a turning point for me psychologically. before that, i had this rock inside of me; something black, corroded, built up over years and years; a hardened slab of hatred that weighed heavy and affected my every thought and action. the drug's effect, for me, was an overwhelming sense of agreeableness. i saw everything as interconnected, not in a spiritual sense, and not in a scientific sense (i don't know much about either), but more as an approach; an attitude, a different possibility in how to perceive the world. when you start making connections that possibly (maybe (probably)) aren't there, something appears in their place regardless. it is not empirical results that drive my spirit, but passions, interests, desires, afflictions; and they can either be explored and embraced or ignored and repressed. the latter is a waste of time, and under the influence of the drug i didn't just realize this, i felt it in every bone of my body; how that black substance, now melting, had been freezing me in place in all aspects of my living life; and it melted away, and in the days after and months since I have felt in my soul like all my limbs can twist and turn in myriads of directions that i had thought to have known to be physically impossible before. in the moment, lying on my friend's bed, i breathed in deeply and i saw my heart as a windmill -or rather, a complicated set of wind-powered contraptions (like the ones in that one maze in Zelda Wind Waker)- that added, divided, sped up, subtracted, slowed down and multiplied everything i chose to breathe in, ricocheting it all over my body; and that my job was to breathe better; to let in air where it wasn't allowed before, and to reach out with all my strength; that this is what i was made to be able to do.
  5. rinv

    substances

    i actually never knew that being straightedge was associated with the hardcore scene because i grew up with my exposure to the hardcore scene overlapping with religious artists. the first music festival i went to, at like age 12, was a christian festival that had a "hardcore stage" with "screamo" music. i knew a lot of people who were straightedge from that but i assumed it was a conservative thing. i think i would like drinking more if it didn't make me feel full, and often nauseous/dizzy. maybe i just need to drink slower...
  6. rinv

    Reasons for being alive

    i called and left a voicemail to make an appointment with a therapist. it's covered through work! going to therapy feels like a last resort, which is part of why i've been too scared to go my whole life. because what if it doesn't help? then what? not going and keeping it as a possibility has always seemed like the better, if completely misguided, option. we'll see how this goes....
  7. rinv

    Reasons for being alive

    i'm struggling, ya'll. i took off work 6 days this month and i'm not feeling any better. i need a change of scenery and a purpose and i don't really know how to go about getting either
  8. soaplitz

    substances

    growing up in richmond, virginia a lot of my friends were / are in the hardcore scene so a lot of them were straightedge. many still are! so i don’t really bat an eye when someone is sober or straightedge by choice. wish that could be me. i hate getting stoned. i feel unmotivated and paranoid and slow. not for me i like drinking a little too much sometimes. i’m more of a bender person than a binge drinker. uh oh!
  9. rinv

    (R)est (I)n Reese's (P)ieces DSH

    happy october! i'll just keep using this as my personal blog...
  10. rinv

    Do you hate where you live?

    i actually kind of like where i live. my neighborhood is quiet and clean, i live 2 blocks from a big river, and i'm within walking distance of a small movie theater that shows a lot of small or limited run films. recent events have taught me that if i'm in the company of the right people, i could really live anywhere, as long as i have my own personal space. i was planning on moving to philadelphia (where some of my friends are now) but the person i've been seeing has become a large determining factor in where i want to live, so i'll be sticking around here to see how that pans out. if anybody is ever in the Harrisburg, Pennsylvania area, say hi! i'll take you to the best sub shop in the state.
  11. rinv

    substances

    i didn't smoke weed until last year and didn't drink alcohol until earlier this year. i still don't really like alcohol, but since the school semester started i've been smoking all the time. my community college homework is miserable and tedious and weed has served as a way to chill out while i work through it. it's pretty nice. i'm curious what your stances are on drinking/drugs!
  12. rinv

    Movies

    this year has been kind of a stinker for movies so far. i've only seen a few i liked and the rest of the stuff on the calender seems pretty passable to me. i guess i'm going to see that Halloween on sunday though... Let The Corpses Tan almost purely kinetic. the director's have a penchant for hyper-closeups, hair-standing foley, and dance-like pacing. the giallo-stylings of Amer/The Strange Color of Your Body's Tears have been supplanted with an outlaw crime backdrop and the color palette is almost exclusively blue, gold, and black. it changes perspectives and rolls back the timeline on a regular basis in a really playful way. i loved it! Mandy i'm extremely tired of lady-gets-murdered-and-must-be-avenged stories but i'll take the hypocrite label to say Mandy is in my vogue and i liked it. it's a beautiful, meditative crawl and for the first time i specifically smoked weed in my car before going into the theater, and while i haven't seen it sober yet to compare, i think i made a good call. Sorry to Bother You incredibly vivid, unique style. i thought it was super smart and funny. it goes. First Reformed a semi-remake/re-imagination of ingmar bergman's Winter Light. i saw Winter Light after this, and was jarred by how shot-for-shot line-for-line most of it is. First Reformed is better though. Amanda Seyfried gives a performance in this movie that is among the best i have ever seen and now has me thinking that she is severely underappreciated. slow-built and a little heavy handed, but still excellent.
  13. tombo

    hot internets 2.0

    oh
  14. soaplitz

    (R)est (I)n Reese's (P)ieces DSH

    hi babies. im still here. yeah love y'all
  15. tombo

    ⭐️ dream bikes ⭐️

  16. rinv

    T.U.I.F.

    it's friday! i spent the last week as a miserable shell of a person. being alive is hell, hey! but i also adopted two kittens. their names are Twitch and Gretchen and they are the sweetest. maybe even a little too sweet at 6AM in the morning... i've been watching glengarry glen ross while doing homework (tangent, i would have died of stress if i hadn't dropped one of my courses this semester. now i am just taking 4 courses (on top of having to work >40 hours most weeks )) and it made me really want to see some more A. Baldwin, so i've also been watching 30 rock. i'm on season 3 - it's pretty funny throughout, but there's a real knockout joke at least every few episodes. i'm liking it.
  17. rinv

    (R)est (I)n Reese's (P)ieces DSH

    i'm gonna make and dedicate a mario maker level to this place
  18. starsailor

    (R)est (I)n Reese's (P)ieces DSH

    ok also i am signing the blood pact RIGHT NOW to keep posting even if it's just me you and li'l tombo. we go down in the flaming ghost house together my brothers
  19. starsailor

    (R)est (I)n Reese's (P)ieces DSH

    everyone else is a traitor. we're sweet boys
  20. rinv

    (R)est (I)n Reese's (P)ieces DSH

    need more post makers
  21. starsailor

    (R)est (I)n Reese's (P)ieces DSH

    man how the fuck do we save this place lol i used to get so much joy out of it!!!!
  22. tombo

    T.U.I.F.

    good friday everyone. i am in Vientiane, Laos. my visa for Thailand expired. there's a workaround that gives me 3 more months in the country; it involves traveling around 500 miles to the border with Laos, crossing that border, staying here a couple days mostly waiting in line at the Thai embassy, and then -hopefully- making my way back to Bangkok. it's exhausting. in other news... i still don't have a job, a situation which is close to critical after six years, i have decided to stop being a vegetarian. it's just a little too inconvenient in my current situation, or maybe i don't care about it as much... idk. it's been about a week and it's made my life much easier, and i've had some great food. i am excited to explore everything the local cuisine has to offer.
  23. rinv

    T.U.I.F.

    happy friday! nothing fun going on -- just work and school. hope ya'll have a better one.
  24. tombo

    hot internets 2.0

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